It took several hours for the memory to fade. Which in turn caused the dreams to affect my day as it did my sleep yet again. I again had one continuous dream that continued even after waking up in fear and falling back to sleep. The only memory I have of it now is that it was of Matt and was horrible. These are the dreams that I hate picking up where they left off when I go back to sleep. I ended up giving up on sleep again and awoke after 4 hours. It’s frustrating. In my awake time, I no longer fear any of them. I just don’t seem to let it affect me. But in sleep time, they attack. Why is this? Why must I relive things and create more scenarios while sleeping? Maybe it’s a clear reminder to never go back. Maybe it’s a hint as to how I could become a repeat victim. I keep hoping to learn something from them. And the only thing I learn is that I don’t fear them. I know they can no longer hurt me if I don’t allow them to. So, maybe it’s me I’m afraid of. Hmmm
If you have any ideas, let me know. I’m continuing to experience the dreams even after acknowledging them. If you are experiencing the same, I hope these words encourage you. Please know that you are not alone.