The Survivals of Jewels

Learning to thrive through sharing my true stories, healing through God, healing through crafts, helping others, and helping others gain better health. Please note, names have been changed for protection.

My Mind Thinks I’m Thin March 14, 2013

Filed under: Surviving Mental Health,Take Shape For Life (TSFL) — The_Survivals_of_Jewels @ 8:00 am

As long as I remember, I’ve been called fat or overweight in some way. Yet, for some reason, no matter how bad I felt about myself, or how fat I thought I was, my mind still thought I was thin. I know this doesn’t make much sense but follow me.

My energy stayed up until this last year. I wasn’t lazy, and stayed active. My son used to ask me to slow down when I got on cleaning kicks. I have always been able to keep up with the kids I took care of. And when crisis’ arrived, I’ve always been able act fast and move quickly. I worked in the pizza business as a manager for awhile and was the fastest pizza maker, start to finish, there. I was able to multitask and handle many many things at once while completing every task accurately. I’m currently in a job wherein violence happens fast and you have to think and move quick to keep the situation safe and still be able to handle the complete duties of the job, while staying strong and calm. Everyone I know will tell you I never quit, I keep moving at everything I do no matter what. It’s monly in the last year that I’ve discovered that I could be doing so much more. That this is just the beginning of something great.

When I go shopping, I have always chosen the cute clothes off the shelf first thinking I could fit into it. Yet when I get into the dressing room, I can’t even get it on. I will pick out hairstyles or a style of clothing that younger people choose and wear them. In front of a mirror, it looks great. Yet, when someone takes a picture of me, I can’t believe what I see. I’m in horror at how big I’ve gotten.

So, I figure, if my mind thinks I’m thin, why not be thin? If I keep doing things that thin people do and fail, why not lose the weight, get healthy and accomplish more goals? It’s like my mind has been telling me the whole time, “you can do anything, don’t give up, you’re thin in more ways than one”.

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