My Addiction September 6, 2014
I’ve come to realize, I’m addicted to food. I’m so used to eating 100 calories every two hours, that I count down every minute til I eat. I count every calorie every day, all the time. It’s become an obsession. I have tried adding calories but I feel horrible physically when I do. And I ate a blizzard last week and still lost three pounds. I’m now at 152lbs. with 20lbs of it just skin. I don’t know what to do. I’m obsessively addicted to calorie counting, eating, and food.
Maintaining Troubles August 20, 2014
Anyone else having trouble maintaining? I seem to be gaining. Tempted to go back down to dieting calories. đŸ˜¦
Time to Maintain July 26, 2014
No gain, no loss this week. Still at 154lbs. So, I looked up what the ideal weight is for me and it said between 139-154lbs. And with all my hanging skin, if I had it removed, I’d probably be around 140lbs, because I have a lot. So I guess this is the end of the road. Time to maintain. It’s gonna be hard to change my eating habits.
He Doesn’t Know When to Give Up July 21, 2014
So, yesterday I got a comment on my about me page from one of my abusers. I don’t know how they found me. But, when they do, they usually hack into my email, facebook, and probably here too. So, look out for terrible posts. In this comment, they said I abused them and abandoned them as well. Well, I can’t recall any abuse unless it was reaction to what they were doing to me. And of course I abandoned them. They were terrible to me. They said that they are living with that pain. Well, can’t you imagine what I went through? The pain I lived with for many years as I was going through it and afterwards as well. Well, as much as I say I’m healed from all you terrible men, that comment disturbed my sleep last night. Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why do they still insist on contacting me? I’ve put you out of my life, now put me out of yours. Please. Sorry, for the rant, but I built this blog not just for recipes, but to heal. And I find that writing it down is part of that process.
Down almost 200lbs! July 20, 2014
Lost another 3lbs last week. And I cheated one day and went over by 200 calories. I can’t explain it. Some weeks I stay right on track and barely lose anything. Then, there are weird weeks like this one and I lose 3lbs. Weird, just weird. 154lbs!
Surgery July 14, 2014
So, the prayers helped. Thank you for all the prayers. I had another episode at work and I didn’t shake. Which I thought was weird. I hit my head pretty hard so I went to the emergency room and they told me it sounds like it’s cardiac and not seizures. So they admitted me over night. I had another one at 7:30am. They told me it was my pacemaker and sent me to another hospital to get it taken care of. They put me in CICU then put a temporary pacemaker in me for the weekend. Then on Monday they replaced my pacemaker and leads as the leads were faulty and been in for 18yrs. I was in the hospital for a week and ate 3 meals a day wherein I know I gained weight. So as soon as I got out, I went back on the 900 calories a day for a couple weeks, then back up to the 1200 a day. I am now losing again and am down to 157lbs. That makes a total of 195lbs lost. Again thank you for the prayers.
Diet Change June 10, 2014
So lately, I’ve had three seizures and the doctors don’t know why yet. They are running tests. But one of the things to avoid is not eating. So I’m upping my calorie intake to 1200 from 900. Hopefully I don’t start gaining. Please pray for me as I’m scared of the seizures. Thanks
The Survivals of Jewels 